Encouraged: maybe “Letters from Paul” will work! (demo of Romans)

Writing songs from the letters of Paul is getting slightly more promising.

I mentioned I deeply hated the first song I wrote.  Drawing from Romans, thinking about an NDIS client of mine who unfortunately died.

We’ll I’m quite happy with it now! But I put a bit more subtlety into the arrangement, a bit more humanity with some acoustic guitar, and worked at selling the vocal.

It’s still a weird song.

For each set of songs I’ve written for this 66 song project, each sub-album or EP, I have in mind a descriptive phrase, to lend a little bit of  stylistic unity to the collection. For “letters from Paul” I keep thinking “Busy Doing Nothing” (B-D-N), one of my all time fave beach boys songs.

I like the way that song is conversational and chill, sweet to the ear, and goes on a harmonic journey – there’s no chorus to speak of. Also, as a series of letters, I’d like this album’s songs to catch the sense of B-D-N documenting an ephemeral moment or a reflection. The B-D-N lyric references writing down thoughts, and writing a letter. I want to catch a moment of me riffing from my life on an aspect of St. Paul’s letter, not try to completely summarise it’s message.

Anyway, while I have that inspiration, I also feel I’m developing a strange genre of my own that is quite nerdy yet shallow and poppy. The songs so far aren’t shaping up objectively all that great, but they are satisfying me because I feel they’re saying what they should say. So I’m happy. Happy enough to attach the demo version here (final will be mixed and sung better, but pretty close to this, I think)

I usually write songs in the order in which they are in the Bible. That would have meant Corinthians came next.

But that’s the book with the famous “love is…” passage, which intimated me. And with my negativity (at the time) about the Romans project, which is about the most significant statement of Christianity in the whole bible, I seriously lost confidence in tackling one of the most treasured and famous passages!

Also a rough patch in life – Daisy situation lost some hope, most of our family is quite depressed.

So I jumped to the end of Paul’s letters. The Bible orders them basically according to how long they are. I never realised that! I thought the shorter ones would be less intimidating.

I skipped the last, Philemon, because I think the last song of a collection should give it closure, so I will actually write it last. That landed me on Titus.

I’ve started a song in 5/4 called “Good”. At this stage his going to be addressed to two fellows from my church, Sandy and Conrad, who are just good people, and generally be about how valuable good people are.

But in another unfamiliar move for me, I skipped on from that before I’ve finished it, and started on Timothy 1&2. (I’m doing the books with sequels as songs that are connected somehow).

That one is shaping up to be called “Complicated” and be about Kelly/the kids.

So the project is not dead at least, but I do really have to get going with finishing and releasing the rest of the old testament…

So here’s where “wobbly rob” is up to, and where it’ll stay for a while:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/11KF02cPCyziwS6VR-4yJflg1GH-UyARY/view?usp=sharing

Songs

I’m going to try occasionally blogging progress on songs I’m writing.

This Bible blog has a kind of afterlife as I spasmodically attend my plan to write a song inspired by each book of the Bible.

That project has seriously languished. I haven’t publicly released any later than 2 Chronicles, even though I have demos for all but one of the old testament books and one from the new testament (Romans). That’s 22 semi completed songs.

I love recording them and making little videos for them, but it’s basically a waste of time/lower priority, compared to working, caring for my family, meeting up with friends, maintaining my house etc. It’s lower priority than virtually anything.

Yet… I can’t stop. I love writing songs, even ones extremely few will ever listen to. It’s like the crossword for me. A little bit of intellectual stimulation in my day. But it’s emotional, creative and spiritual as well, which for me recommends it as a pastime above the actual crossword.

The “new” project is Corinthians, a paired set of two songs for the first and second letters.

I’ve divided the Bible into collections, EPs and albums, so each section has its own flavour, reflecting the organisation of the book itself. So Corinthians is part of a larger album of letters from Paul.

Because I’m a bit of a literal thinker, my current aim is to take each as a jumping off point for a letter from me to someone. The idea is to say something about my own relationships, inspired by the message in the original letter.

Songwriting for me is a meeting of instinct and intellectual effort. That’s a big reason why I love it.

For example, Bob Dylan, when he wrote “like a rolling stone” had a great instinctual moment when he slammed some basic chords on his guitar and screamed “how does it feel!!! To be on your own!!!!” But then he has fun thinking of many dense carefully crafted phrases, cultural references and melodic variations, things like “you used to be so amused at Napoleon in rags and all the language that he used” (is that a poetic self portrait?)

Ditto me. However, my current fear is that the album plan, “letters from Paul” has strangled the instinctual bit of it with too many rules about how the songs will form a consistent album. Too much structure, too many constraints, I suspect.

Romans is currently really terrible, horrible, for that reason. It’s forced, awkward, ovethought and fundamentally not enjoyable to listen to. But I think there is something there, so I’m not going to abandon the song. But I’m going to move on and return to it later.

So, to Corinthians. My first idea is to write an open letter to all the Pastors I’ve known in churches thoughout my life. I was thinking of literally calling it “to Pastors”.

Unless I change my plan, all of the 13 letters to Paul songs will be called “To…” something

But I do need to stay flexible, because of the Romans debacle, and I’m open to revisiting the album concept to allow myself a bit more wriggle room for primal screaming.

Titus overview

A short leader letter. Again Paul launches into the issues with Judaistic legalism.

This dispute runs from page one of the old testament right through to eventual healing in revelation. It’s on virtually every page. You tend to skim past it, it’s such a constant.

Then it’s all about the solid,”boring” kindness and gentleness for which the church should be known to be effective.

Reaching the end of Paul’s letters, I mull over where I have got to with some of the repeating themes.

Such as the elect, which I boil down to a convenient way of describing those who “get it”, a bit like the “remnant” in the old testament. I don’t think I’m a very hard core Calvinist.

I’ve really had my understanding of the value of community enhanced by this reading of the letters. I return to that, and think about my present problem of being a bit of a Martha at church, all busy-ness, stretched a bit thin and sometimes resentful. How does that build and trust community?

So it definitely speaks, even though I’m in a bit of a dry, cynical patch in my sense of God’s spirit.

1 Another letter to a leader of a church with issues of hardline Jewish coverts who want to trap the church into legalism. I talk a lot about the elect, comparing them to the OT concept of the remnant. The remnant is less exclusive sounding!

2 I compare Paul’s advice to his community to be gentle, boring even, to my own over-commitment to my church, feeling spread a bit thin. I conclude that I should trust the community, for it’s own good, and mine.

3 Paul emphasises the quiet power of kindness and goodness. I re-commit to not being a”Martha” at church.

2 Timothy overview

Paul’s last letter is task oriented and practical as ever, though there are touching moments of vulnerability too. Paul won’t be there forever, but the scriptures will.

The letter is about their relationship, Paul has lived a life of greater adversity, Timothy has had an easier time. Paul wants to hand on to Timothy a sense of his gravity and fire. He urges him to be bold and to have a serious gentleness and be utilitarian, like a practical cooking pot, not a fancy serving spoon.

Timothy is to guard the truth of scripture. Paul warns against the flashy teachers, and arranges for Timothy to return to him one last time and bring a coat he left along the way. The letter speaks to me as I start a new job, giving me confidence and perspective.

1 Paul did it tough. Timothy is different, he has had a safer, easier life. In chains and looking towards irrelevance and death, a aged Paul wants to pass onto Timothy some of the fire he had. Paul’s adversity burns in him, and he tells Timothy to step up and be bold.

2 Be a small hero. Paul tells Timothy to be inspired by Jesus the descendant of David, a hero. Timothy is young, a likeable chatterbox, and obviously must be talented, but Paul is urging him to have a serious side, be gentle, careful and reliable. Not a flashy leader – like a useful mixing bowl not a fancy serving pot! I’m getting a new job, which always involves adopting a persona to an extent, and this advice speaks to me this morning.

3 Paul advises T. to be guided by the great constant of scripture. Starting a new job, nervous, I’m clinging to the same.

4 Paul’s last chapter ever, most people agree. We won’t have him, bit we have gods word. Stick to it. Some practical matters, quite touching, wrapping up bits of business. Paul’s fear is that empty leaders will guide the church wrong, but if T focuses on truth, and keeps his ego in check, generational transfer is safe.

1 Timothy overview

I was reading 1 Timothy during a difficult mini arc of life narrative, from hope to depression. I got COVID, and got past fear of being an agent of infection to a reflective place.

I got a nibble on an interesting job while quarantining. I had that weird adjustment of your imagination where you see yourself in it, and you get a bit hopeful. Then it goes cold, I go back to work and everything is hard.

The book is mostly a pragmatic dissection of a church and of Timothy, and the pitfalls, sensitivities and compromises they will be negotiating so that God’s spirit can freely operate within their imperfections.

Paul’s descriptions of God seem floaty and distant… God lives in “unapproachable light”, but the human foibles that sap so much of our energy are very present sharply in focus.

Paul calls on the artefacts of God among us: The deep underlying theologies of grace. and love. The respect and dignity of all being God’s creations …to find a realistic way through the mess of communal living, and on Timothy’s part, leadership.

These are often passive strengths, and I’m very struck as I read through, by the vision of Christianity as solid not flashy, a reliable pillar holding up a place that people can relax and trust in safely.

It resolves to bring a glimpse of joy to my unhappiness, right at the end, as I sing the hymn “immortal, invisible, god only wise” with my brother at my beloved, imperfect, church.

1 what might look from the outside like a typical and recognisable authoritarian passing down of doctrinal purity and authority from God to Paul to Timothy is flipped by grace. Paul is handing over his weakness, forgiveness and sense of unjust, incomprehensible, inclusion in God’s love to Timothy. I get COVID

2 Paul gets stuck into women, but I figure it’s maybe fair enough in context. He gets stuck into men too, for angry praying about their faction. The church is Ephesus, it was going so well in the Ephesians letter, but now it seems like a mess. I’m quarantined at home with COVID. Worrying about money and jobs.

3 I’m very struck by the description of the church as a pillar of truth. Passive, dependable, not flashy, not dependant on PR.  I’m attracted to a high-paid full time temporary job. A little burst of pro pressure.

4 Paul addresses advice to Timothy similar to chapter 3: be a pillar, be disciplined. Speak it, live it. It seems there are a lot in the church who are all hat, no cattle,as they say. I think about duty vs personality. It not a simple one.

5 A great chapter about how pragmatism enables God’s magic, the spirit, in churches. We don’t love perfectly, but God has given us an idea of a kingdom of perfect love. Churches are a constant messy negotiation to free up the spirit from our foibles.

6 I’m at a low point, and I wonder if Paul is at one too, spiritually. His talk of God is distant in this letter. God lives in “unapproachable light” and the church organisation is all about pragmatism and coping with foibles. But the spirit does start to sing for me, just a little.

1 Thessalonians overview

A church that delights, even worries, Paul by the extent to which they have embraced his teaching. A model church, which after Paul left was tested with opposition. A lingering sense he has of burdening them with his teaching is blown away by reports that God is doing great things in them.

The teaching is firstly about sexual immorality, and it’s some of the most nuanced and relevant in describing the extent to which Christian teaching both profoundly influences, but also is set apart from, society’s prevailing morality.

Then about love, in which Paul unreservedly holds up this church as getting it right. He talks about living as children of light, which means the light of knowing about the future of humanity. Dreaming God’s dreams on earth, as pastor Ray at church would put it.

Love those who admonish you, he says. The hard things in this book warrant close attention by any church, because they are signs and protectors of spiritual health. It’s a uniquely positive assessment of functioning Christians to turn to as a model, and it’s all about the quality and solidity of their love.

1 A church famous for their dramatic conversion, which unleashed a terrific energy

2 Paul is strangely defensive about his sincerity, I compare him to a used car salesman, trying a bit too hard to assure you of how honest he is. And also incredibly happy with the church he calls his “crown and glory”. It’s intensely emotional, the grace flows out of him unstoppably.

3 The book comes into focus. They have faced their first serious opposition. Paul is feeling both nervous and a bit guilty for introducing them to the gospel. Will they crumple? Will they blame him? He sent through to find out, and the report back surpassed his expectations (in a good way). Which also explains Paul’s extravagant emotional mood of barely contained joy.

4 Teaching about sex and love. Control of sexual urges is an expression of love to other people and to God. People can understand the former, after all sexual assault laws set basic standards about that. But the latter marks the church out as different, which we can find uncomfortable if we are in opposition to the majority. Paul unreservedly praises their love and just asks for more of the same. What a model!

5 Living as children of light and not night. We aren’t to obsess about the timing of judgement day, but to live in expectant continuity now with the future light. Adopting habits of love and faith that outrun our emotions. He sketches out the interrelationships in a rich of advice. Rejoice, pray, give thanks, treasure those who admonish you.

Galations overview

Martin Luther called Galations his “beloved Katie”. He loved it like his wife. Considering they both breached vows to Christ of celibacy to be together, it was a pretty profound connection to make. Also cute.

I started reading it cautiously because in my Christian tradition Galations has been taught as a kind of purity text. Its emphasis on the centrality and sufficiency of the gospel means it’s been taught to me as a heresy hunt. We have to find and eliminate anything that adds to the pure gospel; any “gospel-plus”.

While that’s kind of right, the joy with which Galations unfolds makes that way of approaching it seem weirdly negative and upside down. A bit like saying the way to have a truly great party is to discover and eliminate anything that is not fun.

Paul’s vibe is that it’s about letting go, shedding legalism, as much as rooting it out. I describe it as “not a heresy trial, more of a whoop of freedom” Which clearly is where Luther was coming from.

I love your Paul put it: “the only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love”.

There are however some brutal slaps here. He slaps away any of our identity that comes from enslavement. He provocatively calls the Jews essentially Muslims (children of Hagar), which they would hate, to shock them into freedom from their legalism. I talk about victimhood and self reliance as identities I would like to shed.

I really loved that the church’s, and our, secret weapon is kindness. All of these letters boil down to doing, day by day, more than thinking. So pragmatic. So inherently about community.

The vision is of us simply feeding ourselves and those around us on kindness, like planted trees with good nutrients we organically start to produce fruit …of the spirit. Love joy peace and all that. We create groves of safety and nurture.

This is what we weaponise. Not heresy hunts; faithful kindness. It’s fun, it’s creative, it’s joyous, it’s relational. Kindness will charm and shock the world into shedding those identities of slavery. “The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love” What a gospel! What an earth shattering little letter!

1 The centrality of the gospel, so familiar to my Christian culture. I wonder if the warnings about adding anything to the gospel (“gospel plus”) go too far in excluding too much spirituality. Respecting Paul’s self deprecating narrative of his own conviction about this, I decide to mirror his openness by being open and humble as I read.

2 Kill the law! Trying to be good to earn God’s favour undoes the work of Christ. He may as well have died for nothing.

3 the promise, the prison and the gift. The covenant to Abraham was a promise of grace. The law is a prison, chaining us up with the awareness of God’s expectations. Grace in Jesus is the gift that sets us free.

4 Of slavery and freedom. I think about how identities self-reliance and victimhood are both slaveries. I marvel at Paul’s boldness in declaring his Jewish opponents “children of Hagar”, of slaves. So offensive! It’s a slap, he’s slapping us out of any part of our identity that is slavery.

5 Glorious freedom. I visualise the trick of obedience without legalism as a high wire act that seems impossible at first but it’s soaringly free if you get it. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love. Answering the question about gospel plus that I started with, it’s not so much purging as shedding. Not so much a heresy trial as a whoop of freedom.

6 So dense, Paul keeps the complex ideas coming until the last word. It’s mainly about kindness, creating safe places where magic happens: the fruit of the spirit, churches. And at the end about the marks of slavery. Slaves were branded, Paul was circumcised. We all have scars. Jesus’ scars are the kindness of God.

Revelation 22

An invitation. The Bible comes full circle, and we are back in Eden. God is right here among us. The river of life flows through the new city. On both sides of the river is the tree of life, bearing 12 crops of fruit, and its leaves are for the healing of nations. It reminded me of Psalm 1, a tree planted by water that does not wither.

And the invitation is for the thirsty to come. Come, wash your robes and drink freely of the water of life. Who wouldn’t?

People are accountable for what they do. Outside the city are murderers, sexually immoral, idolaters, and everyone who loves and practices the dark arts or even falsehood. So, but for the grace of God, everyone. But I’m thankful that by that grace I’m someone who tries not to.

I remember my tatty adolescent NIV Bible, the back cover fell off and for the longest time this page hung on by a thread, the last page of the Bible that says that anyone who takes words away from the scroll of prophesy will have the blessings in it taken away, lol.

It’s the last chapter of my Bible blog, though I have a fair bit still to do in summarising books and preparing to write 13 songs about the letters of Paul. I would be interested to do a timeline too, it’s been quite a time in world history.

My life hasn’t gone full circle, it’s still a grind and a bit of a random mess. Maybe I shouldn’t have lost that last page of my Bible. But I do like having so many thoughts about scripture recorded. It’s enjoyable and helpful to go back and read what I’ve said about a tag or a passage at a certain point in time.

Maybe it will be a voice for the kids later in their life. I would love it if my parents had left more of their thoughts behind other than in my selective memory. I think so, maybe…

This chapter, I just loved the relaxed warmth of it. Abundance and healing. The exclusion jars me as ever, but equally, how can those things be in the presence of God?

“The Spirit and the bride say, ‘Come!’ And let the one who hears say, ‘Come!’ Let the one who is thirsty come” Gonna link that judee still song.

I read her lyrics, she traverses scriptures, looking at the various responses to the invitation. Those whose love does not endure are in the cold outer darkness. Those who are vulnerable and suffering are lifted by the trumpet sound. Those who, with Jesus, are unjustly rejected, who are coming last when scoundrels come first, they see God’s mercy shine. Wherever your light, keep it on.

“The grace of the Lord Jesus be with God’s people. Amen.”

Revelation 21

Everything is new!

I wrote a killer, if I do say so myself, song about this passage. I might try and record a version for this entry.

At that point I was smitten by finally arriving at the “good bit” of revelation. The bit where evil is gone and heaven happens: “no more death, no more mourning crying or pain when everything is new”

At the time it seemed like a long haul through the “weird bit” to get there. And, reading my cry of “it’s all too hard” in the last entry, perhaps nothing much has changed.

But I’ve woken up with some clarity, I think. Or at least, some hints that feel like they might head towards clarity…

Point one, this is very culturally remote. It’s a shock at this point in the Bible to remember that it’s a 2000 year old text. The gospels, Acts and some of Paul’s letters lull you into forgetting how old they are. The eternal human dilemmas are so fresh. The characters of Jesus’ very natural and ordinary disciples, the members of the early churches struggling with their egos and diversity to form loving, supporting communities… These stories are instantly relatable and the cultural distance melts away.

Suddenly there’s these layers of imagery from the old testament, which to the audience of the day of course was the only testament. When I have read about the new Jerusalem/temple in Ezekiel, Zachariah and Isaiah, I filter it all for a very different culture. At the futuristic end of the new testament, we’re thrown back to that place, which may explain why this book has inspired so many mad ideas in attempts to relate it directly to modern experience without enough filtering.

Point two, the “good bit” is connected to the “hard bit”, same imagery part of the same narrative. Even though God is wiping away every tear and there is no more pain – wonderful, wonderful images – it’s not actually that much easier to understand than the chapters that led up to it.

I always feel a bit of that during the description of the new Jerusalem descending to a new sea-less earth, a gigantic cube, somewhere between the size of Australia and India, and reaching higher than the highest satellites into space. With 12 giant pearls for gates, and gold streets. Would it literally be a nice place to live?

Last point: the visions are all directed at believers. It’s all for us who understand about the good news of Jesus, and God’s intention for humanity …in the future, and starting now.

When it gets to saying there are no liars there, you start to wonder if anyone could make it. The doctrine of saving grace isn’t reiterated to comfort me at that point.

But it’s built into the framing of the book. It’s written to churches. It’s SO not a guide to who’ll be in or out, it’s much more of a guide to living now as a child of God. How our often thankless works of grace in this unjust world are already, and will be, the fabric of God’s beautiful eternal kingdom

Those points made, I’m no less smitten with what’s there. God with us, bringing light and sustenance justice and love. The gates always open, inclusive to all the world, and all that is glorious of humanity. No more death, no more mourning or pain, every tear gently wiped away by God. A vision of everything new that is about such intimate comfort.

Yes, it can be all so hard now. But so worth it, to know the Lord God, to be in the arms of our creator.

I’ve included a record three (3!) songs: mine, a beautiful impressionistic choir anthem by Bainton that I enjoyed singing as a kid …it was my first introduction to the passage. Also “let the river run” by Carly Simon, based on phrases from a Walt Whitman poem, a moving performance of it, Carly and her kids, at the 911 memorial. Let all the dreamers wake the nation!

Revelation 20

The millennium. A notoriously difficult passage that retells the final battle, or maybe tells another final battle.

For the record I think I believe the a-millenialist position is most likely. But I’m going to work at being ok with being wrong.

The millennium is set up in the opening verses. An angel binds Satan and throws him into the abyss, seals it over. For 1000 years Satan cannot deceive the nations.

Only then is there a final battle. Satan is let free again for a bit, and prepares for battle. Like the final battle in the last chapter, this one ends before it starts with Satan being thrown into the lake of fire.

The Abyss is a holding pen for Satan, lake of fire is the hotel California… Once you’ve checked in, you can never leave.

Pre-millennial believes Jesus’ second coming will be the start of the millennium. Post-millennial believes the start of the millennium will happen at some point in human history (ie: Satan bound) and Christ will return at the end of it.

No theory requires 100% dedication to it being exactly 1000 years. All positions are consistent with it simply describing a long time. However Post- and Pre-, but not A- have adherents who do believe in a literal 1000 year period.

Post-millennial (aka Jesus comes at the end) has given rise to some judgement day cults, because you can take a momentous event in history and add 1000 years, and figure the exact day of Christ’s return. Apart, I suppose, from Jesus’ own teaching that no one will know the day or hour.

A-millenial guesses that Jesus’victory on the cross and resurrection at Easter was when Satan was bound. To them the millennium describes the current period, before the return of Christ. So obviously it’s at least closer to 2000 years.

The end result of all three positions is the same: a final victory over evil.

The end result of us, human beings, I found a little bit elusive:

There is a group of martyrs, here particularly the beheaded, who go straight to be with Jesus’ and skip the final battle and/or judgement. The idea of martyrs being privileged has come back a few times in the book’s visions. I guess it was especially relevant and comforting to the first audience of the letter.

There is a group of nations who gather ominously around Jerusalem after satan is unbound. God’s fire descends and devours them and Satan is thrown into the lake of fire for deceiving them. Is it better to be devoured by God’s fire than the lake of fire? Is the lake reserved only for Satan?

In the next part of the vision, earth and heaven flee before God. Death and Hades give up the dead for judgement, and then are tossed into the lake. So: no earth or heaven, and the fiery lake contains Satan, death and Hades, (which is a catch all for the place where the dead are, and the power of death).

At this point it’s seeming pretty universalist. The lake of fire doesn’t actually have any humans in it.

But then the books are opened. There are a bunch that contain all the deeds of mankind, and another which is the book of life.

People who are not in the book of life go to the lake of fire. But everyone’s deeds are recorded and judged. This is a process of truth and justice.

Being written in the book of life as we know from the rest of the new testament, comes through God’s grace. Being judged for your deeds doesn’t really affect it. But this judgement is still a painful process. Maybe this is like being saved through fire like in 1 Cor 3. Though in Jesus’ telling of a similar judgement day, where the sheep are separated from the goats, there seems to be less reference to Grace.

It’s all so hard! Who is in the book of life and why? Who isn’t and why not? Deep and unanswered questions. But it seems it’s not everyone.

There will be justice reckoning and pain. There will be love, there will be an end to this era. Death will be in the lake of fire.

In other news, my first two days working in the church office felt long and disorienting, like stating any new job, but it’s probably going to be ok.

Kelly is still in a stand off with her work. She wont return unless they address the chronic bullying. They either have to fire her or do something, but they are doing neither. So weird! She hasn’t been to work in weeks, but she will get paid for Easter Friday and Monday holiday, because she’s still officially on the payroll.But disturbing for her.

I feel dumb, like my brain isn’t working, is it cognitive overload or am I just too old and tired?

Praying for wisdom.