Hebrews 12

The week the queen died. It’s a bit like losing a parent, she’s been such a constant.

The disabled people I support for work are disturbed by it. They all spend a lot of time alone watching free-to-air television. They are at least annoyed by the wall to wall coverage. But two schizophrenic people are genuinely grieving, trapped with the TVs triggering it.

They are sensitive to what an anchor she has been. They feel the loss, and it seems to connect to so much else they have lost.

Internationally the grief seems to be similar, she’s a marker and connector to so much that has passed.

But here in Hebrews 12 we have the reminder that the saints are all there in heaven watching like a crowd at the Olympic Games, cheering us on to run our race unimpeded by sin as God planned: learning from Christ’s love and sacrifice to work tirelessly for God’s kingdom of peace and justice. Rahab and Jepthah are there. Plus the queen, plus mum and dad.

And even if those images were just our memories or just narratives of them, which I don’t believe they merely are. But even if they were, they would still be a powerful encouragement, and comfort in our loss. Our identity, our provenance.

It’s a frame in which to endure hardship, by remembering them, and thinking of it as discipline that strengthened them.

The author returns to the choice Moses presented to the Israelites as they looked over the border of promised land between the mountain of blessings and the mountain of curses. Who will they serve? When everything is going wrong, I might be fooled into thinking I’m on the mountain of curses.

But my hardship for Christ’s name is like the wilderness years. They lead to mount Zion; to blessing not curses. And to reject it would be to reject God’s grace.

Maybe my hardship at the moment involves batting down my feelings of frustration at being stuck being a mere support worker, and my sense of burnout at church. Maybe it’s taking greater care of Kelly and the kids. Maybe there are whole new paths out there that I could be open to. The choices are more about the spirit and the fruit than the specific path.

Great chapter, interesting thoughts. And today I have a day off with Kelly, and a drive to visit our friend Lisa up the coast. Yippee!

Praying for family, and as I have got in the habit before every shift, for wisdom and love.

2 Corinthians 11

Paul gets really down and dirty here and in the next chapter, defending himself against these “super apostles” who have started teaching in the Corinthian church.

He throws everything at it.

He warns them he is going to be silly and I agree, it does seem a bit silly when he compares the church to a bride, and himself to their father delivering the bride to her intended, Jesus, protecting her virginity while she’s flirting with others. He compares them to eve in the garden.

Then he gets genuinely sarcastic about them thinking they are so wise but being so besotted with these false teachers. Since they clearly love being slapped around by fools, he says he’ll be a fool, and slap them with all his worldly credentials.

It’s one of the times he lists all his shipwrecks, misadventures and etc., plus his pedigree as a Roman citizen and ex Pharisee.

But I think it gets to the heart of what is happening here when he comments towards the end of his suffering list that his burden for their souls, worrying daily about all the churches, is the hardest suffering of all.

He really really cares about them. He’s seen God plant a seed in them, but now like the parable of the sower, the devil may swoop down like a bird and snatch that seed away, and he’s in a panic for them.

I like thinking about how Paul’s idea of good bible teaching is an overflow of excitement about being loved by God.

My cliched image of people who are obsessed with heresy is of zealots with hard-line theological purity tests. That used to be Paul, he’s been there and done it.

But now he’s spirit-filled and emotional, overflowing with gratitude at being loved by Christ despite having been a truly terrible human being.

For sure, there is a strain of criticism in these letters, of Paul picking through error and telling the churches where they are wrong. But I’m finding the general vibe is way more positive than that.

It’s more someone enthusiastic to share the good stuff. He dismisses bad teaching not because it’s inaccurate as much as it’s inadequate. A second-rate vision of God. The true gospel is so much richer. Bigger, not smaller.

That’s who I want to be. I’ve approached the letters warily because I don’t want to get bogged down in arguments about the role of women, homosexuality, the manifestation of the holy spirit, hats in church, how Christians should vote, whatever. But here is Paul living this crazy life because Christ turned him around. In pain because he so dearly wants others to have the same joy that he has found.

Give me that vision father, in Jesus’ name.

Feeling a little happier today, a little more positively rather than negatively disturbed. Maybe it’s the imminent end of lockdown, which will be particularly great for Kelly.

I scheduled my online album launch for next Wednesday, and got some nice flattery from the responses to my sneak peek song. A little bit of that goes a long way!

Getting out there makes connection. And after, what is it, over 13 weeks pretty much stuck in our houses unless we have a pragmatic, legally prescribed, excuse to walk out the front door… connection is not to be underrated!

Mark 6

Keep saying “yes”.

So I’ve come back from this intense and very worthwhile experience giving fun holiday experiences to kids along with life lessons they need more than most kids. I’ve had a day off, now I make a list of what to do: unemployed, lots of time, little structure, need money, yada yada, blah blah.

Today’s chapter has a mixed bunch of events that don’t neatly summarise:

• Jesus preaches in his home town, and the locals essentially think he is up himself and don’t listen to a word he says!
• The disciples go out preaching for him, healing, driving out demons, telling people to “repent”… (lose their stubbornness and pride before God, I suppose).
• We get the story of Salome dancing for Herod and asking for John the Baptist’s head on a platter. Gruesome and arguably a bit random.
• Jesus feeds a crowd of 5000 who come to hear him, from 3 loaves and 2 fish.
• Jesus walks on water, freaking out the disciples who are in a boat.

One thing that unites the stories is responses to Jesus. Jesus claims that to know him is to know God. But people don’t have to know much. He’s always looking for a “yes” from people.

His family and locals know him well as a local lad, but that blocks them from seeing him as God.

When the disciples go and preach for him, he tells them to offer the message, and if it’s not welcomed, shake off the dust and move on.

Looking for the “yes”, it seems like it can’t be forced, it’s either there or it isn’t. Col who ran the camps very much got that point, he accepted the responses.

Herod’s story seems to be about guilt to me. He hears of Jesus’ fame, and it reminds him of how guilty he felt beheading John the Baptist, who announced Jesus.

The story makes that clear. His step daughter dances at a feast, and asks for the beheading but Herod is very upset about it. He’s so weak and indifferent to life that he does it anyway, because of social pressure in front of his guests. So pathetic!

When someone suggests that Jesus is John returned from the dead to haunt him, his guilty conscience jumps to that idea. His guilt and shame block his “yes” to Jesus, and make him vulnerable to a fantasy. Guilt and shame are things to be given away, to God, not kept to drive you crazy.

The people who are fed know hardly anything about Jesus. But they are there because of some “yes” somewhere in their souls. And it’s the disciples, not the people who worries about the food. They are forgetting their physical hunger because of their spiritual hunger being satisfied.

Maybe that is all they will ever know of Jesus, that meal and whatever he said that day. It’s not how much knowledge that is important, but your response to the knowledge you have.

Then the disciples. They have left their jobs, a big “yes” to Jesus. They have gone out preaching it, and healing on Jesus’ behalf. The witnessed the miracle magic feeding, and they knew exactly how much food they started with. But when they see Jesus walking on water, they think it must be a ghost and freak out. The Herod response! The book says that their hearts are still hard.

They have to keep saying yes, as they have their minds blown more and more. Jesus is too much to take in. He knows that, he is gentle with them. It’s hard for them, it’s hard for me.

Out of these examples of responses, I think I’m closest to them and to Jesus’ family. I’ve grown up with him all my life. I’ve gone to endless Bible studies and sermons. But still challenged to say yes.

Now I need to join up the mountain top experience of the youth camps with the messy practicality of surviving and choosing what to do with my time. The military style of the boot camps is relaxing in a way, because you have virtually no discretion about what to do at any given moment. So uncomplicated.

I want to keep a sense of mission in life. The yes never stops.

Keep showing me the yes in this mess, father God!

Mark 4

The word – active listening.

The word is the power of the kingdom of God, the infrastructure of it. I am going out armed with this word as my ally, so it’s a timely message.

Its all about the form and function of words. Form in that Mark explains that most of what Jesus taught was in the form of parables. Deliberately indirect metaphors.

Jesus wants us to want to understand, he’s looking for seekers. Its not a sales pitch for his philosophy, it’s a hook for those who will actively work because of their need to know. Active listeners.

And the content of what Jesus says goes into similar themes. The parable of the sower says that Jesus fully expects many people won’t get what he is saying. And that’s just how it is.

Those who do get it have the responsibility to be active with it. Jesus says “use it”. Shine it out into the darkness. By doing, more than by inner reflection, is how more of the true nature of things will be revealed to you.

The word has life within it. The kingdom of God is compared to a tree, a micro environment, spreading out and sustaining life. But Jesus doesn’t tell us to use our creativity and building skills to build a structure as close to a tree as we can. We are to plant seeds. God will do the work, the spirit, the word.

The important work is revelatory, not constructive. A treasure hunt, not a factory. We don’t build God’s kingdom, we find it, and when shine the truth out we make favorable conditions for others to find it.

God set up nature to work the way love works. When a mustard seed turns into a huge tree, when nature replenishes, renewed and takes over, that’s because it’s designed by God to operate like love.

The section concluded with Jesus calming the storm with a word, and the disciples being amazed. An event now assembled in context with so much of what Jesus said about the word.

This word I go out with. Shine it.

I wrote this post over a week of 5 days work, the last I may have for a while. 3 working for the youth program in a public school for traumatized and intellectually disabled kids. 2 my last two for the Salvos.

I went in and returned my laptop and access card, the first time I’d been in in months. The kids work was exhausting, but satisfyingly physical.

You realise that, while this teaching applies to white collar work, it has a particular resonance with physical labour, particularly a project for the benefit of others. You feel, on some level, you understand what you were made for.

Kelly turned 51 this week, it was much more of a celebration of what I love about her than I expected, because the times are so tough, I expected it to be more poignant than beautiful. We took a morning to enjoy the gardens, and she is leading me always to plants, which are a powerful optimistic symbol.

I was very sad and disturbed finalising at the office. It was anti climactic, there was no one there because if covid. I now have my redundancy payment, which gives us a much needed financial breather. Spend it as slowly as possible…

Whew. So much going on, it’s a good time to think the answers are outside of me.

Mark 2

Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.

Isaiah 43:18-19

I think Mark would have been fun at a party. Jesus probably would have too… We know his first miracle was providing wine for a wedding. But Mark’s style is in the moment, mindful. There’s a joyous embrace of the present tense.

This chapter has five or so vignettes illustrating the familiar theme of Jesus’ offensiveness to the Pharisees and other Jewish leaders. But the tone is different to Matthew.

For Matthew continuity with the revelation of scriptures was very important. Jesus is going in a straight line, fulfilling God’s promises, and the Israelites have gone off track, taken a turn away from revelation, from knowing God.

But Mark emphasises that Jesus is fresh, breaking from the past, and responding to the moment.

Of course both are true, and that Isaiah quote came to mind which is both a prophesy and a promise of discontinuity. God is both: changeless and new every morning.

Its also about timing, knowing the season. There is a time for everything under the sun.

Today you have Jesus defending his friendship and feasts with notorious sinners, dramatically pairing his ability to forgive sins with his ability to heal a paralysed man. What an apt metaphor for the joy of this new thing God is doing. Sin is a kind of paralysis.

He picks grain on the Sabbath, ignoring the rules and comparing the moment to a wedding feast, and him the bridegroom. He teaches the metaphor of new wine skins for new wine. Also so apt.

The joy of it comes with an awareness that there will be times for fasting and mourning. But that is not now. The Pharisees have become spiritually tone deaf, they can’t get the vibe of the moment the way that the people obviously do.

God in Jesus has synched into the creation and time. The alpha and omega is schooling us religious types about taking pleasure in moments that you spend interacting compassionately and instinctively with each other.

I haven’t lived twice as long as Jesus yet, but I’m getting there. Theologically, understanding God’s love as timeless and endlessly surprising gives me both comfort and hope. But also as a simple life lesson, this is a great reminder to embrace the moment, just as the natural trajectory of my life is to get more risk averse and stuck in my ways and worries.

After waking up bleak, I had a bracing day yesterday running round picking up free stuff for Daisy’s new house. Kelly had put the call out on various sharing Facebook pages.

A great thing about strangers giving you free/surplus stuff is that the people you meet are all really nice, cheered up with happiness at being able to help. A fair few of them seemed to live harsher lives than we do, which was humbling.

Daisy was overcome with misgivings yesterday evening, wondering if she could afford it even with the free stuff, and overwhelmed with despair about medical issues. Its an uncertain time, but there is much to celebrate, much that is new.

Matthew 20

I think this chapter marks the end of the road. The transition from Jesus’ teaching to the events that lead to the crucifixion.

Considering Matthew was one of the twelve, it’s a very self deprecating chapter. Jesus tells of his coming death a third time, very clearly, saying the manner of his death. The disciples clearly don’t get it, and continue squabbling over who will be most important in the coming kingdom.

James and Johns’ mother asks for special positions of honour for them in the coming kingdom, Jesus asks whether they are up for sharing his “cup”…. ie, of death. And indeed predicts that they will. The other disciples get jealous because they didn’t also get the promise of the cup sharing! It’s embarrassing nonsense. Matthew must have winced to remember it.

Jesus gathers them and says it won’t be that kind of kingdom, again. He is there to serve, not to be served, and give his life a ransom for many.

Matthew ends this part of the narrative on a healing of two blind people. As if to say, until Jesus opened their eyes, they weren’t going to see it.

It starts with a parable of the unmathematical calculus of grace. Jesus’ story, of workers who go all day working the vineyard for the same amount as those who only work the last hour wouldn’t strike anyone as fair.

It reminded me of the story of Jonah. His whole beef with God is that he doesn’t think it’s fair that God would love his enemies, the Ninevites. It’s the scandal of grace, as Philip Yancey would put it.

It all turns the lens to Jesus, and what he must do. Teaching alone will only go so far. The son of God must die, to satisfy justice and prove god’s amazing grace.

I’ve been struck by the intimacy, still, of responding to Jesus. I read the story, first hand account. The author, Matthew, didn’t get it at this stage, he’s not mediating. He and I stand next to each other, listening to and seeing Jesus, having a response.

Yesterday, Jesus dealt with the grey areas by refusing to give us neat rules we can judge each other by, on money or sex. He’s already taught us not to be looking for the specks in each others eyes, but the logs in our own.

He gave me the challenge, me alone, to change my thinking, to be part of God’s kingdom now, in my own individual way.

It reminded me of how king David fell in love with being in the tabernacle, before God, just him and God.

This gospel demands you to open your heart to Jesus. You can’t read it passively. Your heart either opens or closes tighter and harder. It is the Jesus we should bring to others.

Matthew 11

#nofilter

Jesus is hard to understand because we have so many filters. That’s why children find it easier.

I think of this chapter as about the filters, and Jesus showing us that love, grace and relationships are designed to be so great when the filters are stripped away.

Because God is relational. 3 in one. Here it’s like Jesus is constantly texting the father.

First up, John the Baptist in prison, gets wind of Jesus’ ministry and sends his disciples ask Jesus: Is he the one? Is there something else?

No hint of motives. Was John gently directing his disciples towards Jesus’? Was he disappointed? Was Jesus more low-key than he expected?

No hint either of whether John was satisfied by the answer. It makes no difference because Jesus knows what he is doing. He simply announces what has been described an extra beatitude:

Blessed are those who are not offended by me

John is the last and greatest prophet, but that way of knowing God is a filter. The commentary said it’s like the brightest night is still darker than the dullest day. With Jesus, a new day has come.

And Jesus lets fly at those who try to build their own comprehension to suit themselves, on top of partial revelation. He calls it a violent raid on the kingdom of God.

When fuller revelation and understanding is freely available, religious practices and other theories of knowledge can perversely operate to obscure God.

I think.. it’s a tricky passage!

Jesus comments on the spin people put on him and John… That John was too hard and critical and Jesus is too lush and compromised by mixing with corrupt people. Watch this space, he says: “wisdom is proved right by its deeds”.

He gets really angry about the towns, including his home that saw lot of miracles but were indifferent.

That’s when he does a check-in with the father in prayer, and mollifies his anger by rejoicing at what a leveller god’s love is.

Some of the simplest people get it from the smallest hint, and some of the most sophisticated struggle to grasp it when it’s right under their noses. And that’s how God likes it to be. You’ve got to strip away the baggage and unlearn.

He talks about the open and filter-free relationship he has with the father. And then he invites us in.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

v 28-30

His anger with the indifferent towns is ultimately the frustration of compassion for them. The way of struggle and complexity, of reaching forward in the dark like the prophets, or following leaders who are as blind as you are, they are gone. We can come direct to Jesus. The “message” translation called it the unforced rhythms of grace.

There is work to be done, sure, but relatively Jesus’ work it’s like rest from the struggle of not knowing Jesus.

His claims are astonishing. If you want to regard him simply as a great teacher, he is preposterously arrogant. He claims to be gentle and lowly of heart, …and able to choose who will know God.

It only works if he is God. If so, yes, God is humble, gentle, inviting us in, freely sacrificing himself so we know simple, abundant love.

All kind of sad and wintry here. I applied for some jobs yesterday. Its all in God’s hands.

Matthew 4

The indigenous church within our church has gone digital with COVID, and has input from across Australia. We have wonderful free ranging discussions. Last week was on shame and honour.

Theirs is a shame and honour culture, morality is understood in relational rather than absolute and individualistic terms, such as guilt or righteousness.

In passing the pastor, uncle Ray, mentioned the white addictions: wealth, power and control. It was a fair cop, he was also being very open about the way shame culture can do a lot of damage within his community.

Jesus is tempted in this chapter with his God qualities after 40 days of starving his human body.

“Why? Why?” says the devil. “Make all the food you want! Throw yourself off a tower and watch the angels catch you. Rule the world”. Wealth, power and control.

I’m trying to stay calm, but on some level fear and sadness have gripped me as, months after being made redundant my income has actually finally reduced by half this pay cycle. At the end of July, it’s down to zero.

After this temptation Jesus starts public preaching and healing. He gets fame. People with needs come for healing, plus those with spiritual longing, presumably, to hear his “good news” of the kingdom of God.

Giving him a listen, taking advantage of the medical element, is a fairly low commitment, high potential benefit transaction for the crowds who come.

But between Jesus’ extraordinary voluntary commitment to his human condition and mission, and his initial surge of popularity we have the calling of the disciples.

Matthew makes almost no record of why they found Jesus so attractive. He said “I’ll make you fishers of men” and the just drop everything and follow.

I doubt it would have been enough for me. To end my addiction to my feeble portions of wealth, power and control.

But that is where I feel called and challenged now. To let go. To follow.

Going away this weekend. With a couple of friends. Myself and Kelly quite stressed. Hope it is relaxing.

Hope I have some time for mediation and contemplation.

Ezekiel 28

More about Tyre, into the third chapter, keeping with the tone of poignancy about how magnificent their civilisation was.

It’s beautiful poetry of regret over their arrogance.

God’s blessing on Tyre is emphasised with a vision blending heaven and Eden. A blessed creation, surrounded by glittering jewels, walking among God’s fiery stones, a guardian cherub.

This is the opposite of the malicious glee over the downfall of Jerusalem that they are judged for, this is deep lament. Jesus would say “love your enemies”.

God sees their eternal value in a way that they themselves, blinded by the arrogance of their own success, cannot.

There is also a judgment against Sidon, the neighbouring state of tyre.

I just read up on the history of it. Embarrassingly a few entries ago I said it was lost and gone. Well, not quite, it’s the fifth largest city in Lebanon.

It’s been quite a cultural centre, but struggling these days with a massive influx of refugees. There is a lot of poverty.

There was an island and a thriving mainland part of the city. The 13 year Babylonian siege pretty much obliterated the mainland part, ushu. The island withheld the siege. This was a sense in which this prophesy was fulfilled.

The special place in god’s heart may also be a reference to their prosperity in alliance with David and Solomon, Israel’s golden period. The king was close, the temple was constructed of building materials from Tyre.

There was reference to a religious fire ceremony focused on the king, which seems to be referenced here, when God talks about the sadness of expelling them from among the fiery stones for their arrogance, similar to Adam being expelled from Eden. It seems in this poem that God accepted this worship on some level, this expression of spirituality.

I’m reminded of the varying attitudes of churches to Australian aboriginal smoking ceremonies. It’s sometimes veiwed as evil because it’s from a non Christian religion. But a wise aboriginal pastor I heard on the subject quoted the verse “by their fruit you will know them”.

Look at the fruit. Here, it seems God does.

On a personal note, we go to the rural town of orange today for Christmas family celebrations. My sister lives there and the rest of my extended family are converging.

I pray for safe travel, and to relax. I’m very wound up. I’m looking forward to it. And my sister sounds very excited.

I think the spiritual word to remember from this chapter is lament.

Psalm 150

Psalms starts with the word “blessed” and flows like a rich nourishing river of God’s word until it ends with “hallelujah” – praise the Lord.

And a little like a river, following the course of it can get a bit repetitive, but coming across it can be the best part of your day.

This simple burst of praise is one of my faves. We praise God in his sanctuary, and out of it. With every musical instrument we can grab, but especially the cymbals, extra especially the loud ones. AKA come on, feel the noise! With dancing, singing, music.

I want to dance more. I’m a terrible dancer, but I would like to dance more!

Everything that has breath. In my mind I always add “while they have breath”, and imagine praising God with my last breaths, as my sister reports my mother did, singing about clinging to the old rugged cross.

And I imagine all the animals praising God and dancing, like those happy visions from Disney, snow white and the seven dwarfs.

But even without anthropomorphism, animals are praise of God’s creativity, they give us comfort, joy, awe, amazement and fascination.

I imagine the Israelites chanting this over and over to some wild beat, dancing away into the night. Uncle Rex, a classic old Aboriginal Christian leader talked about dancing and praise under the stars deep in Arnhem land, all night, from dusk til morning. Timeless. This psalm is about praising like that.

And for me each day, praising God in the sanctuary means in my heart, practising the presence of Christ, taking him with me everywhere, being alert to the spirit, seeking to obey, looking for the joy.

Hallelujah!